new motivation

I suppose I have found my motivation. I am getting married in September. When I went to try on the dress, those dang love handles were always bulging out. The sales lady kept remarking on my skinny waist, which okay, maybe my actual waist is skinny, but my love handles are atrocious. I got a dress that flattered my figure very well, but I would love to look even better on my wedding day, not to mention on the honeymoon... So I have been going back to the gym and burning 500 calories plus walking a bit while reading. I signed up at myfitnesspal.com, a cool free site that tracks your food, exercise and progress. I also found out from them that my basil metabolic rate is more like 1200 than 1400, so I need to cut calories more. 1200 a day??? Uh, I'm so hungry all the time! I'm trying to cut calories here and there, like I didn't get mayo on my subway this evening.

I really only need to lose 8-10 pounds in the next five months. If I lose 2 pounds a month, I will be golden. i think I can do that if I keep on top of my eating and exercising.

I also visited the doctor, and went on metformin for my glucose intolerance. She seemed to think that with the amount i was exercising, I should have seen much better results than 5 pounds in 6 months (granted their were several non-exercise periods in there). However, she also said that the medicine alone may help me lose 1-6 pounds over the next six months, as for some reason that just happens to people. That's most of what I need to lose.

I have the problem still of rationalizing and saying "oh, I'll eat better tomorrow" or "Its okay if i don't go to the gym today" I procrastinate, and I am afraid I will do that up til the wedding day. I need to put motivational signs around the house to help me remember that I don't have until next week, I need to start today.

I think I just need to be really strict about what I can and can't eat, at least until the wedding. What is more important to me? That soda or piece of pie, or looking good on my wedding day? Not to mention the pint of ice cream I ate at camp made me not want to eat ice cream again for a year. Jonathan needs to stop tempting me and encouraging me to make better decisions.

He is going to the gym again too and I am very happy. I love him now, but I won't say I won't find him more attractive with a little less gut, not to mention I worry about his health and him dying on me. It has been a lot easier for me to go to the gym as well. I actually want to keep going and try harder. I guess sometimes you just gotta get back in there.